The Real War
by Sweet.Melody817
Summary: This is the real war. The war we should all be fighting for. The ship war. Zutara vs. Kataang. I hope you like it. Read & Review!
1. Prolouge

Here's my new story. It's my first try at Avatar humor. It's the war between The Zutarians and the Kataangish. I'm mostly neutral on the pairings but I prefer Zutara.

**The_ Real_ War**

Somewhere on a little island of the cost of the fire nation, lived the Kataangish. They were a happy people until one fateful day, a monster was born. It was all started by a brave rebel one who didn't believe in the Kataang way if life.

In the middle of the night he snuck off to the hall of computers. It was used for one purpose and one purpose only: to write fanfiction. Only Kataang was allowed, Kataang used to convince the producers to make them fall for each other.

All that was about to change, though. The rebel had a cause, a wonderful new way of life. Zutara. He stayed up all through the night, even ignoring the bell for school. For once he would have to miss the in-depth study of Kataang.

Finally a master-piece was born: the world's first Zutara! Suddenly the rebel gave a cry of alarm. The writers were coming. He could here there footsteps from across the hall. There was no time to hide. He minimized his creation and hoped for the best.

"What do we have here? Were you staying up late to write some Kataang?"

"Well…um, yeah. That's exactly what I was doing!"_What luck, a cover story._

"May we see it? I love reading everyone's favorite pairing." _So much for that_. The boy had no way out this time. He would have to fight back. The rebel sped out of the building as fast as his legs would carry him.

"Listen up everyone! We don't need Kataang! Come join a new nation! A better one! Become a Zutarian." And with that the rebels of Kataang fled off into the night. Never to be heard of again…until one day the real war was started.

I'm not trying to insult any pairing here, but whoever I'm mainly talking about I'll insult the other pairing. I have nothing against either of them though. Don't yell at me about that. There'll be more humor next chapter so Read & Review.


	2. The Battle Begins

Okay first of all thanks to all the reviews. I didn't think I'd get so many. But please. This is NOT a place to bash pairings go do that on a message board where you're allowed to. I only bash the pairings because the people in the story are bashing the pairings.

Disclaimer: I forgot to say this so I'll say it now. I don't own avatar the last airbender. If you thought I did, you have problems.

Okay here's chapter 2. Read and Review.

**Chapter 2: The Battle Begins**

The leader of the Kataangish smiled proudly. There had been no sign of the Zutarians for the past 2 months. All continues on as is should. The producers had even hinted at Kataang a couple of times in the last month. Yes, life was good.

Suddenly a silence hovered over the whole island as the next episode came on. The Kataang analyzers, trained to find even the slightest bit of Kataang in an episode got to work.

"Hmm. Waterbending scroll. interesting." The awesomness of the pirates flashed across the screen(A/N: I like pirates) But then a collective groan achoed throughout all of Kataangico. Aang and Katara are arguing!

"OMG! Like how could this happen they are meant to be!" said a random guy.

"The world as we know it is coming to an end!" another random guy just fainted. But life for the Kataangish was about to get much worse.

"I'll save you from the pirates." Zuko pulled Katara close to him by the wrists. Extremely close.

The Kataangish watched in a horrified fascination as the episode played out before them. The kindness, the feeling Zuko showed. How he remembered who Katara was, how important her necklace was to her. This was an outrage.

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_Meanwhile..._

Somewhere on an underground cave, exactly the opposite was going on. The small group of Zutarians had been joined by more and more, leaving the Kataangish. Now they were the empire of Zutaraca.

This was still only the beginning though. Now it was time for the next step. The leader of Zutaraca logged onto the computor and created a message board. Now to sit back and wait.

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_Message board_

Kataangrocksmysox?!?!?!?!? How could you. Zutara is evil! Zuko is evil! Katara isn't. She should be with Aang!

ZukoxKatara4eva: You are WRONG! Kataang is a disaster! Zutara owns you all!

Kataangrocksmysox: You are all crazy and desrve to be locked up in an asylum! You did something didn't you.

ZukoxKatara4eva: Let's just say the producers got hypnotized. Muahahahahahahahahaha!

Kataangrocksmysox: ...

Kataangrocksmysox: fine then. if you wanna play that way we will fight back! The Kataangish will triumph! Let the war begin!

_Kataangrocksmysox has left the chatroom_

_ZukoxKatara4eva has left the chatroom_

_**To be continued...**_

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**A/N:** Since this is a story and has to have an ending one of the pairings has to win. Everyone vote on the one you want and the one with the most votes wins. Anonynus votes don't count, sorry. And no bashing the pairings!


	3. A Fatal Blow

Here's chapter 3! I was having minor writers block so I couldn't update before.I don't really like this one as mcuh as the others but oh well.

**Chapter 3: A Fatal Blow**

A Kataangish spy crept quietly through the Zutara war room. He shuttered at how everything was red and blue. The Zutarian colors. But it was time to strike back. He picked up his yellow and blue bag and began stuffing everything he could find, from the hypnotize rays to the bombs that could change the show in a matter of seconds.

Suddenly the Kataangish spy felt somthing tug at his leg and his eyes widened as the alarm went off.

"Inrtuder alert. Intruder alert."

Guards came running in." It is one of the accursed Kataangs! Let's stop his reign of terror."

"Zutara is a monster!" and with that the Kataangish jumped out of the window and was gone in an instant.

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_many episodes later_

"Is our weapons ready ?"

"Yes Captain. We have all the Kataang programed into this hypnotize ray."

"Good. Tommorow is Friday. We must set out immediately."

So with that a Kataangish grabbed the ray and began the days journey through time and space, to the land of Earth. The land where the 'Kataang Creators' lived.

"The next episode: The Cave of Nightmares is ready. I just need to make a few minor adjustments." the creators were hard at work.

"Oh no you don't!" The Kataang jumped out from his hiding place." There will be no nightmares. There will be Kataang! We will triumph!" He held a flashlight to his chin and began to cackle evilly. He tackled the staff to the ground and proceded to hypnotize them.

"We will make Kataang," the producers droned in a robot-like voice," It will be the cave of two lovers. They will kiss."

"Not so fast evil doer!" A Zutarian hopped into the room," We will stop you!"

"Never! Kataang Cloud of Water and Air." He used his Kataang bending to block the Zutarian's vision with a cloud but the Zutarian waved it away.

"Zutara Mist!" The Zutarabender used his water and fire combo to take away the hypnotizedness.

"You are too late!"

Far away in the other dimension you could here the echoeing screams of terror at the scene before them on the screen.

_"What if we kissed?"_

"Zutara will always win!" and with that the man threw his bomb and Aang completely wrecked the moment with his horrible talking skills.

"It's not too late for the Kataang!" he threw a similar bomb and they immediately leaned forward to kiss.

"Noooooooooooooooooo!" he threw the final bomb and the lights went out, the kiss had never happened.

"This isn't over yet yelled the Kataangish." and with that they began the long journey back through dimensions.

_to be continued..._


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